GREATEST 10! plus some

Edit 6/12

This morning at work I steadfastly shirked my duties for which I am unhandsomely compensated to embark upon one bold undertaking. My task of creating my creation was to be one the most difficult I had ever endeavored as I sought to construct the most grand of such lists that was to include the best if not the greatest cinematic works ever produced as witnessed by me. Thus with countless minutes of meditation and the vigorous tapping of the bank where my memory resides, with honor and dedication to the respective lists of Hester and Julian, I present to you my most esteemed opus.

#10 Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon - This proved to be the ultimate in martial arts film making with the perfect blend of drama, intense fighting scenes, fantasy and award winning cinematography. It was a welcome departure from the kick'em up kung fu flicks of the past that were heavy on action and light on storyline. This movie was the standard bearer for Chinese films that sought western crossover appeal and was the mold used for movies like Hero and House of flying Daggers. For me the movie was a culmination of the efforts of Bruce Lee, Ralph Machio, Kung fu theater, Jean Claude, Master Splinter, the geniuses with Capcom gaming who created the Street Fighter series of games and the hopes of millions of misguided aspiring ninja youths worldwide. It was also one of the few foreign films over the years to get lots of acclaim from the American Academy. Fans of the genre appreciated the veteran acting of Chow Yun Fat and was the breakout role for Zhang Ziyi. The film was truly a complete work and is my favorite martial movie.

#9 Titanic - Im almost embarrassed to have this in my top 10 but f@*K it, I love this damn movie. When I saw this movie in the theater I remember being emotionally spent as the credits rolled. I didn't want to leave because I wanted there to be more to the story. With it being an actual historical event, we knew how the story would end but I wasn't expecting to get so involved with the characters. This was our introduction to Kate Winslet and my introduction to the brilliance of DiCaprio. The story was well written and the special effects and camera work had me captivated the entire span of the movie. I can still remember how she called out the name "Jack" as his hand slipped out of hers and he disappeared towards the bottom of the Atlantic. This was classic film making people.

#8 The Pianist - Even if Adrien Brody never makes another film that approaches the quality of this one, he will have nothing to be ashamed about and a one hell of a performance to boast. Admittedly this film makes my top ten with the help of the strength of the movie Schindler's List that has similar subject matter. But the story that is tells of the strength and perseverance of the human spirit and tenacity of the will inside of us to live, will stand the test of time. With the setting being in battle torn Europe during the second world war, you are struck with the helplessness of the people targeted by the evil of Hitlers final solution. The movies is suspenseful, intense, and sad but allows you to remain hopeful in face of some of the most rotten of conditions. If you haven't seen this movie then this should be the very next one that you see.

#7 Malcolm X - Holy shit Spike and Denzel showed their natural asses in this classic. The movie follows the Autobiography of the man as told to Alex Haley pretty closely. This true story of the personal journey of Malcolm Little's transformation to Malcolm X with his life and death following, was sheer brilliance. Although it chronicles the life of a criminal and mid 60's civil rights leader, Lee captures the themes of personal development, redemption, personal evolution and devotion so well that anyone will get drawn into his life in a very personal way. Yet the most mesmerizing and scary aspect of the picture was the way Denzel Washington nearly morphs himself into becoming Malcolm X. The dress, the glasses, the hats, his mannerisms, the way he sounded, his speech patterns were all so very reminiscent of the actual man it was eerie. If you consider yourself to be an American you have to know this story and you should see its theatrical adaptation. This film is a masterpiece and my favorite of Spike's. We will hear more from this Washington guy.

#6 The Shawshank Redemption - In this movie again we explored the themes of the amazing strength of the human spirit, the extreme fragility of the human mind and the complexity of morality and redemption. Freeman is the rock around which all other thespians revolve. The movie is a rollercoaster of emotions but leaves you feeling like a better, more understanding and sympathetic individual. The movie is set in a place and time seemingly very far away from where you are but easily draws you in. I struggled to place this movie in my list because its so magnificent and at the same time Freeman narrates the story with such an even if not a resigned tone that dulls the movie but not in a bad way. It does so that helps you to feel the lack of feeling and the gray and gloom that is felt in the culture of a prison. A culture where the extremes of joy and sadness are harnessed and replaced by the hum-drum of simply surviving. Great movie, great cast. See it again and once again.

#5 Forrest Gump - Life seemed oh so simple for this idiot savant. The film played right into the hands of hopeful idealist everywhere as we found ourselves rooting on this lovable simpleton. Forrest maneuvered his way through some of the most tumultuous times in American history and I loved every minute of it. Gump became and All-American football player, taught Elvis how to dance, played his part in ending segregation, and symbolically weakened the communist way with his mad ping pong skillz. As critical a part as he played in the history of our country all he really cared about was his Jenaay. Nearly as good a comedy as is a drama this film is as entertaining as any and rarely had a dull moment. Forrest gives us all the false confidence we need to believe that anything is possible.

#4 Gone with the Wind - This was the best story told of any movie I have seen. The courage and determination we see in Scarlett is the type of strength we all hope to be able to tap into in our darkest hours. Identifying with with the love she had for the soil of her upbringing and the relentless fervor with which she fought to preserve it, she wins us over. And with the war to preserve our union serving as the backdrop for the story, the historical context is compelling. This movie stands the test of time on the merit of its quality and extreme watchability. Lots of people have many issues with this film but if you can get past those, then you'll be left with a gem of a picture show.

#3 Saving Private Ryan - I've always had a weakness for war movies as they highlight the selflessness and dedication of real citizen heroes who risk their lives for their country and countrymen and the ideals of their homeland. This movie opens with the initial Allied invasion of German occupied France at Normandy. And I tell you that there is not a more intense and real 15-20 minutes of film making in the history of the world. Tom Hanks is brilliant. The journey you take with this band of soldiers is incredible. The movie is authentic. The emotions I felt were real. The movie is great in getting our generation to understand the sacrifice of the generations of the past. If you are American with any concern or appreciation for the comforts you enjoy this movie has to be at the top of your list.

#2 The Lord of the Rings - When I first saw this movie I didn't know it was a trilogy. So you could imagine my disgust as the first movie ends with no resolution as to the fate of Frodo and the ring. Im am not a huge fan of Sci-fi or fantasy but I was swept away with this film. The characters, the dialogues, the special effects, the far away lands, the fellowship, the magic, the darkness and the hope, all had me fixated on what would happen next. I don't identify any movie over another as they are all parts of the same story. I can watch this over and over and its as fascinating as the first time I viewed it. It reminded me of some of the stories of my youth like The Neverending Story or The Dark Crystal. How lucky are we to have lived to see the adaptation of Tolkiens story?

#1 Glory - There is not a more special movie to me than this story of the 54th Massachussetts. This country was founded on the declaration that certain members of our society were born with inalienable rights that included life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Not so for this all black regiment. Matthew Broderick plays the historical Colonel Shaw who led this group of free men, freed men and former slaves and even two of Frederick Douglas' sons to meet their destinies in an attempt to secure an uncertain future for their posterity. Respect was something they knew they didn't have but were willing to earn it by dying for a country who had yet to formally recognize them as humans. This is the story of America. This is the essence of our democratic experiment. This is the struggle of our nation who had not yet made good on its promise to its entire population. Denzel Washington wins a supporting actor Oscar for his role and Morgan Freeman is great as usual. If you ask me this is required viewing for any foreigner seeking citizenship as an American.

Other movies I considered for my top 10 include Ronin, Heat, the Bourne series, The Godfather, Dog Day Afternoon, Scarface, Napoleon Dynamite, Goodfellas, Braveheart, Gladiator and Tears of the Sun.

Farewell McCain

It honestly hurt me to my heart to see that piece that 60 Minutes ran on Sunday night about Sen. John McCain. And it was his his lack of honesty that hurt him. I was disappointed because the events of the last couple of weeks revealed some flaws in his verity and uncompromising conviction. Those two things that had previously been his strong suits which drew people to him, his campaign and his cause, had been turned inside out into spin and a compromised assuredness.
For those of you who didn't see the piece or are unaware of what was going on, I'll fill in the blanks. John McCain is a war supporter. He may be the only individual currently seeking the next availability in the white house who is on board with the current administration in feeling that to withdraw our troops would be a grave mistake. So Sen. McCain visited Iraq in the fairly recent past. As some members of congress have been know to do, he wanted to accomplish a couple things by visiting the site of our faulty democratic experiment. He wanted to show support for our troops by showing his face in the middle of a war zone and he wanted to gain credibility by being able to say that he rode with our brave soldiers and witnessed the goings on the struggle. The problems started when he returned to the states and reported some things that many felt were hard to believe and very much contradictory to what others were reporting. McCain stated that there were parts of Baghdad that an American could walk around alone without fear of incident and that he traveled around in unarmored vehicles. The media and his audience were skeptical but McCain has never been the that politician to exaggerate the facts or be misleading to his constituency. In fact his career had been quite contrary to that. He was often times the lone ranger in his conservative environment being able to promote what he saw as truth versus what was popular or convenient for partisan support. McCain was frequently the maverick among republicans being able to criticize Dubya, Cheney and Rummy over the handling of the war and even side with Dems on certain issues. If there was any knock on McCain when it came to his ambitions of the chief executive spot it was that he had isolated his right-leaning base and that he would only appeal to political neutrals, undecideds and fence straddlers. So when McCain came home making these remarkably positive proclamations about the situation in Iraq, we were unsure what to believe. Were we to hold true what we were being fed in the media that the situation was bad and getting worse, or were we to swallow what McCain was offering in that the new strategy and surge in Iraq was working. It would have been an ongoing debate if it weren't for a small media outfit called 60 Minutes that was following Senator McCain around the streets of Baghdad with competent reporters and functioning cameras. Turns out that the kool-aid McCain had brewed up was laced. The piece on Sunday night showed that there were no streets safe for unaccompanied travel. McCain strolled the urban markets of Mesopotamia with nothing short of 100 fully armed, highly trained and highly alerted U.S. Marines complete with ground and air support. And his transports to and fro were hardly casual and unprotected, rather they were heavily armored vehicle convoys. When questioned about the discrepancies between what he stated and what we saw in the video he simply explained that he misspoke on the situation and tried to play it off as not this issue. He tried to stress the importance of the lack of violence and the peaceful nature of the area that many spoke so badly of. He wanted us to believe that the war effort that he had so vehemently championed was working the way that he had so desperately wanted it to. And therein laid the problem.
Whether the situation was better or not, he had compromised his integrity. Whether the plan was working or not, Sen. McCain had instantly exhausted alot of the faith that I and others had in him because he had ceased to be an independent bastion of truth and had become a war apologist just like the rest of the current administration. And if the public was going to vote a war supporter in the the white house, we had to believe that your stance on the war was rooted in sound judgement and objectivity. But like the rest of the Bushes he was found to be exaggerating the facts and leading people towards conclusions that were based on his fantasies rather than reality.
Im not sure where Sen. McCain went astray but he barely resembles the guy that was the front runner for the republican nomination some months ago. What kind of campaign strategy is it to tether yourself to such a sinking ship of an issue as the Iraq war and to the administration that appears so incompetent to handle it? If you support the war, do so in a manner as to not let it define your campaign. Talk about the other issues that face our nation like social security, health care, corporate corruption or global warming. Why choose this losing battle to fight? Or do like other conservatives do and allow some completely irrelevant social issue frame the debate like gay marriage, abortion, prayer in schools or the evil of myspace. I mean sit down with Mr. Rove and I'm sure you all could come up with something. But the issue is that you seemed to wager and throw away so much for something that could have brought you minimal praise. Sen. McCain could have easily separated himself from the Bushes. He was actually a war vet who fought and was captured and was imprisoned for a length of time. We know Dubya did everything possible to avoid service. He has a son that is enrolled in a military academy and another son who is 18 and recently enlisted in the army and volunteered to go to Iraq. So the argument that he is not willing to sacrifice his own family for the effort is null and very void.
In the interview I learned a couple of new things too. I learned that in the 2000 campaign, it is thought that the Dubya crowd started a rumor that McCain had fathered an illegit black child. Though they cannot confirm where it came from and the allegations were absurdly false, I dont understand how he could align himself with that group after they so shamelessly tried to slander his name. And the other thing that came out in the interview that really slammed the door shut for me was when the interviewer asked John McCain why he took the stance that he did on the issue of the confederate flag being flown as the state flag of South Carolina. Essentially the senator expressed at the time that he felt that is was a states right issue. That meaning that if the populous wanted it so then the courts nor the feds had the right to do anything about it. For him it was a way to take a stance without really taking a stance. And since then he has recounted that stance. But when asked why he changed him mind on the issue, he honestly stated that it was because he had "ambitions", implying that siding the wrong way in this racial issue would have cost him votes. But admitts that he knew then like he knows now that it is wrong to have that as a symbol that so humiliates, dehumanizes and offends a certain population of the people of South Carolina. It was then that I knew for sure that he may not be the candidate for me.
I have wavered between Obama and McCain for some time but now its all about Barack. I thought John would have been better suited for the office as far as experience but now that notion has been shattered. I think Sen. Clinton is just too much of a lightning rod to have an affective presidency and Guliani and Edwards and the rest don't do a whole lot for me.
I just wish the senator would have made the Kool-aid with more sugar or chosen a different flavor. I ain't goin' out like Jim Jones an' nem so for that ill have to say farewell Mr. McCain.

Polemics 102 - Master of Puppets

Warning: This post is a mess. I just had some thoughts and started writing.

Although I am a believer in God, I've always questioned what kind of direct role he plays in our everyday lives. We are always taught to let him guide our steps and let him take the lead. But what exactly does that mean? How much does God intervene in our lives if at all? How does he directly influence events, circumstances and decisions that we make if at all? In biblical text we read of countless incidents of God's direct influence in human life. He was there in times of need and delivered his people out of harms way. He kept enemies and heathens at bay and used the non-believers or unfaithfuls as teaching tools or lessons in faith and righteousness for those who were in the know.
Though we don't witness those obvious interactions between creator and created, is that to say that they no longer exist? Does that mean that he is absent or doesn't care anymore? Or oes it mean that we have less use for him now? I mean who needs God when you get stranded in the desert when you've got triple A? And when you get lost we have maps and GPS and Tim Robbins and Iyanla Van Zant. And when you get sick you find the nearest doctor. In any case how do we measure God's influence? What does he really do for us?
I have struggled to grasp the contrary concepts of predestination and free will in the bible. If we are free to make choices then how were we pre-selected for certain fates? And if there is some divine intervention then how does God select the persons he chooses to miracleize? Or when tragedy strikes and he was involved, how did he select the area and people to be affected?
When thinking about topics like this I look for a universal theory. I look for a theory that is applicable in all situations and satisfies all criteria. If God is up there and is pulling strings, even just some of the time, then that interferes with free will. And if God does not intervene then why do we pray? Or do you argue that God only pulls strings when we ask him to? If so then would you attribute "natural" disasters to Gods doing? And if so then who asked him to do it? But if the disasters are truly natural then by what methods does God teach us lessons on faith, purity, grace, mercy and accountability without forcing our hands? Does he test us like he did Job?
It can become a tangled web of circular logic, but its something I deem worthy to better understand. Too many times, I and others ask the question 'why do bad things happen to good people and why do good things happen to good people?' Long has it been a debate between science and religion over the validity of acquired knowledge through experiment and observation or our world and the staples of understanding gathered from the holy book and its interpretation by religious leaders. How can evolution be valid when we know God created us? How can there have been dinosaurs that roamed the earth millions of years ago when we know that God created the earth along with all the animals and then humans somewhere around 10 thousand years ago? How are we to believe? How are we to reconcile what we see and observe versus what we believe and what our faith is in? Is it all a test of faith? Could God have given us this curious and powerful mind for science and innovation and progress only to have it forsake us by having us question his creation and his role in our existence?
Modern physicists still look to find a universal law that links Newton's Laws of motion to Einstein's theory of relativity. Both are accurate and reliable to an extent but fall apart and are not applicable in absolutely all situations. Likewise, I'd like to, with good satisfaction, come to an understanding of what we know from our natural world and that of what we know of our supernatural world.
Here is an example of an axiom widely stated that I am not sure I quite grasp. In times of crisis people often say 'God does not burden us with more than we can bear.' That may be comforting but is it exactly true? If it is then why do people die? And if we are talking about emotional or spiritual burdens then how do we explain post traumatic stress? Or how do we explain depression? Or how do we explain bi-polar issues? Or how do we explain emotional disorders related to childhood horrors from violence or molestation or extended abuse? Or how do we explain it when the death of a spouse is often times so closely followed by the death of the other spouse in marriages that were strong and close and lengthy? These all appear to be symptoms of people's minds not being able to adequately cope with events or stresses that they have encountered in life. Is it that anyone who suffers from these issues are simply not faithful enough to avoid the trappings of a cruel world? I'm not so sure that is the case.
There is a bottomless pit of question only a few of which I unload onto this page, and here is yet another. As you grow older and experience more, how is your faith in what you have been taught affected if at all?

Truth About Cats and Frauds

Romantic relationships can be tricky. Because your time, energy and space are very valuable, you have to be prudent in whom you decide to invest those precious resources. And when you do find the individual you deem worthy of your personal capital you’ve got to be careful as to not allow your emotional ideals overpower your social instincts. Like lighting a match in a bathroom after vigorous number two chute letting, sometimes our desire for companionship has a real creative method of masking the stench of an otherwise dysfunctional pair bond. Too often we allow our primal desires for security or reproduction replace the god given and more objective critical reasoning, to make judgements about potential mates. Friends and family may attempt to reinforce some of that objectivity but we become just as adept at suppressing them too. Emotions have never been akin to rationality.

In my short period of time here on earth, I’ve been privileged enough to be able observe the character traits of individuals and, with relative accuracy, determine their ability to sustain meaningful relationships. It’s actually quite easy to do as an outsider but infinitely more difficult when directly involved. I have also been blessed enough to be able to observe certain lifestyle patterns and, with varying degrees of certainty, been able to asses or correlate certain behavioral habits or character traits with those lifestyle patterns and therefore draw conclusions as to their relationship worthiness. And in my observations I have noticed a lifestyle preference in each gender that make them absolutely ineligible or if already involved, disqualified for a proper and secure emotional bond. This subset of the female population will be know as “Cat ladies” and the subgroup of the larger male group are to be know as “Fraud dude”. Here are my findings.

Cat lady is an enigmatic creature. She is a mystery that rivals the vexing ponderation we find in Chicken vs. Egg. Is the abundant collection of cats propagated my an extended period of lonely despair? Or was the unnatural affinity for feline companionship the perpetual wedge driven between Lady and sapien companionship? I concede that I shall never with great certainty know the true nature of that relationship but I will postulate you in these few ways. There is no separating the mercurial ways of the cat from Cat Lady. Women who seek comfort in felines as pets tend to posses or take on the very nature of their capture. You will find the attention, warmth and dedication of the captor to be as fickle, whimsical, sporadic and fleeting as the animal with which she resides. Though the Cat Lady’s level of gratitude tends to exceed that of her four legged counterpart, her tendencies to internalize her feelings and concern herself primarily with…well…herself, become problematic. Within a short period of time it becomes obvious that forming any enduring togetherness with any measurable level of intensity will be a daunting task. When the requisite bonding nourishments of communication, selflessness, sympathy and understanding are summoned, Cat lady might find herself wellspring at a dearth. Of course I speak in absurd generalities and I find that these axioms hold up in only an extreme majority of the time.

Fraud dude can be even more elusive. Similarly to the Cat Lady, Fraud’s attention is hard to capture but by definition he is the opposite of your prototypical dude. Unlike his predictable counterpart who enjoys sports, the company of women, beer and his commrades, Fraud is more of a loner. He looks to women for what they can provide him and most notably he does not enjoy team sports. Wimen folk: BEWARE A MAN THAT DOES NOT ENJOY WATCHING LOTS OF TEAM SPORTS. Men are always going to be into something. And if it is not the Chicago Bears or playstation then he will be into something else. What that something else will be only god knows. These men may be hard to spot or recognize as you may find them hanging in sports bars or sports venues. This happens because Fraud is simply interested in social interaction. They are twice as hard to recognize because they have a knack for misrepresenting their motives and intentions and telling people what they want to hear. Be not confused by a man that is into Boxing, Ultimate fighting, tennis or martial arts as these sports are selfish pursuits that only lend themselves to self praise and sole accolades. This is antithetical to the nature of team sports that promotes accountability, responsibility, respect for authority, integrity and teamwork. All are traits of which you look to find in a potential suitor. Fraud may not be readily recognizable but any earnest attempt by even the most casual of observers attending to the details outlined will be able to reveal the imposters.

The Week of Rivals

Just after half time of last nights game I was looking for something to do. Prince had just finished serenading all the wimen folk and there were more wet panties at this superbowl party than a laundromat. Nonetheless I was bored. You could just tell that the Colts had taken control of the game and the outcome was all but decided. In this moment I couldn't help but to ponder a question that someone had thrown out for discussion earlier in the night. "Why doesn't Duke turn out any productive NBA players" a random individual queried. All in attendance knew that the question was mere rhetoric and was only an attempt to point out a flaw in a nearly flawless program. Most shook their heads in agreement. I too agreed in my head but something weird happened. Contrary to my obvious tarheel loving nature and the approval of the afore-mentioned criticism, I blurted out "get out of here, that argument is old. You could have said that several years ago but there are several players in the league that are doing their thing like Brand, Maggette, Boozer and Grant." I am still trying to understand the exact cause of this inexplicable outburst in defense of the arch enemy of my beloved Heels and I'm sure it has something to do with my previous post and my penchant for polemics. Some jumped all over me with verbal assaults but somewhere in the melee I mentioned that I was actually a Tarheel fan which confused them all even more and thusly ended the debate as they most certainly pegged me as crazy at best and a traitor at worst. Either way that conversation in the midst of the greatest gridiron game of the year was symptomatic of the lunacy that is 'Rivalry Week'.
For the first time all year College Basketball has the spotlight in the national sports scene. The shadow cast on the sport by pro football has been removed and only now can we appreciate the accomplishments of these enthusiastic amateurs. We can concentrate on the sport that has the most exciting post-season tournament and this week of rivalries is a just a precursor to the madness to ensue in March. On Wednesday the mighty University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Tarheel Mens Basketball juggernaut will make the 10 mile trek to cam'ron indoor stadium to face the cowardly blue goblins of dook. Carnage shall ensue. They hype has already taken ahold of me and I am powerless to my emotions. I am ashamed of some of the ways that the overflowing emotion can manifest itself but I am just a mere victim of the madness. Here is an example of how I got carried away. This is an email I sent a good friend of mine from high school who I met in North Carolina. He's a good guy but happens to be a dook fan.

Dear Dude,

There are at least two times a year that I cease being any type of meaningful associate of yours let alone a friend. This year the two dates are Feb 7 and Mar 4. And with the aggies pretending like they want to be a national contender this # of dates may increase in the near future.
That being said I sincerely hope that you a$$holes win tonight against virginia and also against the semen-holes of Fla St in three days. Because I desire nothing more than for my rolling Heels you knock you and your coach K following blow hards off your collective high horse riding, blue arsses. Trust me when I say that I derive no greater pleasure from anything on this earth than from the pleasure I get from seeing the confused looks on the faces of the cameron idiots errrr crazies and the other cheering fanatical losers on the deep end of the bench, whose legs remain as pasty white as the day they were born due to those limbs never seeing the light of day from up under the permanence that is their warm-up suits, when they are getting their spirits crushed on the 90 some odd feet of hardwood. In six days I am confident that my wildest fantasies shall come to fruition and the order of the universe will be righted when we confirm that the center of the basketball universe is in its proper domain in Chapel Hill. Fathers will kiss their daughters and sons will hug their mothers and all will find comfort in knowing that the demise of the demons in durham is no exaggeration but in fact is upon us. May God have mercy on your soul.

I know that sounded harsh but I apologized for my actions and assured him that there is only a 75% chance that it will happen again.
In response to my unbridled hateration he sent me this well constructed policy via email.

Haymaker insurance to be offered by Woodrow-Wendling Insurance Group, LLC

Feb. 5, 2007 AP Wire
For immediate release

Austin TX - The Woodrow-Wendling Insurance Group is offering a limited policy for customers seeking haymaker insurance for the week of Feb. 5, 2007, a week known to college basketball enthusiasts as 'Rivalry Week'. The policy covers bodily injury resulting from the 1) preemptive attacks by rival fans prior to said game and 2) post-game revenge missions carried out by agents of rival fans, institutions, and close friends (or their pets). Sustained injuries such as powder-keg, back-of-neck bitch slaps, unforeseen "wet-willies"**, and, of course, the ubiquitous and devastating, full-frontal barrage known as the "haymaker", will be covered in full. Other conditions covered in whole or part include PHMLOSD (Post-HayMaker-Late-OnSet-Syndrome-Disorder) as well as medical reimbursement for insomnia resulting from head and/or ear canal trauma.

Visit http://ineversawitcoming.com for more information.

** "Wet-willie" is a generic term used for one of two popular humiliation-inducing techniques:
1) the moisty finger of one's nemesis is inserted into helpless victims ear and held for several seconds as victim tries to resolve "what in the hell is in my ear".
2) said nemesis sucks on his own left index finger and inserts his right index finger in victims ear, creating a "wet-willie by distributive property" effect. This method was made popular in the 4th grade.

My email response: By the way, what is a powder-keg?
Him: It was simple literary device, part imagery, part onamotapoeia that describes the torso-twisting, bend-your-knees and get-your-back-into-it wind-up that precedes a professionally-delivered back-of-neck haymaker.

Polemic Exercises

Sometimes I am a contrarian just for arguments sake. I like a good debate and I like to make people think about, the opinions they have that they consider to be absolute truth or, the opionions they have that they never considered to be less than truths. I do this for a couple of reasons. Because I like to immerse myself in information from many different types of sources I find myself conflicted about things that most people are very sure of and that I used to be very sure of. So any time I can make someone elses otherwise black and white world a little more gray, I jump at the opportunity. It helps my esteem. And I also do it because it makes my thought process sharper. I like arguing a side of an issue that I dont necessarily agree with to challenge my own line of thinking.
Although I make an effort to do this now, I started doing this in college unconsciously. I met and talked with people who had very different experiences and perspectives that I saw as valid although contrary to my own. And eventually I came to see that I appreciated not the people who had similar views as me but those whose minds were open to new ideas as my mind was. My interest wasn't in like minded individuals or those who affirmed my experience. And in time I began to grow annoyed by people uninterested in expanding their world view.
I grew up adopting certain christian beliefs and eventually my secular evolution gave way to a spiritual one. Ideals that I once saw as my truth I found to be more societal or cultural constructs. And specifically I began to question the way that God influenced our lives. I questioned the way that we viewed our relationships with God as believers and the balance of duties, roles and responsibilities between the creator and the created.
Wikipedia says that Polemics is the practice of disputing or controverting religious, philosophical, or political matters. As such, a polemic text on a topic is written specifically to dispute or refute a topic that is widely viewed to be a sacred cow or beyond reproach, in an effort to promote facual awareness. The antonym of a polemic source is an apologia. The word is derived from the Greek word polemikos which means warlike.
Even though I wasnt familiar with the term, Polemics was my mental pilates. And I found it essential because although conventional widsom is convenient, it is not necessarily consistent with what we know and observe. My thoughts on religion, race, ethics, cultural repsonsibility, ethnic and national allegiance, politics and governance all began to be thoroughly examined. For me it was fun and enlightning because it felt like evolution. I felt like the more I knew the better a being I was and the more responsible a being I was able to be by making more informed and aware decisions about my life and how I led it.
Okay I wanted to make a brief introduction on what I wanted to discuss and give a brief background on why I consider such things but it has turned into much more so let me stop here because I have no structure. And If you gathered from the past few paragraphs that I am some type of tolerant, justice seeking, I am my brothers keeper, Che Guevera t-shirt wearing, starbucks drinking liberal, u're wrong. I like my women with perms and I hate my neighbor just as well as the next guy. I keed!

Polemic Exercise #1: Disputing the "Even Stevens" ideal

I call it the "Even Stevens" ideal but the concept is rooted in the thought pattern that all men are created equal and that the world order tends towards fairness to the fair and reward for those who are righteous. I steal the term from the episode of Seinfeld where Jerry finds that no matter what he does or no matter what he loses, it comes back to him some kind of way. The scene I remember best is the one when he has made his declaration of being Even Steven and Elaine decides to test the theory. She asks him for a dollar or maybe even a twenty and Jerry asks why. She says just give it to me and Jerry does begrudgingly and she proceeds to ball it up and throw it out the window of his high rise apartment dwelling. Later he unexpectingly finds the exact same denomination of bill in his jacket pocket. He can't lose.
I am suprised by how many people expect their lives to go like that. People expect that God will bring them good fortune after they have gone through rough times and they expect that misfortune will come their way when to much seems to be going right. People tend to compare their success or lack there of to other people they know and attempt to rationalize or explain away the differences. People like to think that if someone at work is working their way up the ladder and they are not, that the individual is working so hard that his or her family life is suffering and going through so much stress in the pursuit of glory that they dont sleep well if at all. Or they rationalize that they must be an arse kisser and therefore not as good a person as they are as to maintain their dignity and integrity. People too like to believe that although people are not born with the same talents we are born with talents that equal out because certainly where one person excels they will be deficient in some other area. For example we like to characterize people we perceive as smart and hyper intellegent as social duds. We like to think that they have no lives and spend their free time reading and collecting stamps to assuage our feelings of inferiority. And we like to think that professional athletes blessed with extraordinary size, strength and bank accounts are dumb and moral sub par to molify our feelings of being shortchanged when God was handing out genetic blessings.
My contrary theory on this is long and not very well developed but the short of it is that we are not equal and it takes an understanding person to understand that. It is absolutely required that we treat each other the same, but some of us are going to have an easier time at living than others, but that is not to say that God loves you any less or values you any less or made a mistake in your creation. So you shouldn't go around in life sizing everyone and everything up and comparing it to your situation. Or if you do compare everything you shouldn't define your self worth by it. Using your surroundings as a guage for where you should or could be is fine, but just realize that you cannot expect things to turn out for you just the way they did for someone else. Life doesn't work that way and was never intended to.

There were supposed to be a couple more exercises but this post is getting long and I am tired of writing it. My attention span is shot. I will post the rest in another entry.

Holla if you hear me. What are some of the life myths you had to dispell? What have you discoverd in your pursuit of truth?

Gorilla Removal

Holy crap what a game. I grew up with a healthy disdain for Peyton Manning. When he was a Vol my gators gave him fits and he still hears a bout how he never beat Florida in his 4 starts at QB. But since he has been a professional I couldn't help but to root for the guy. He's very muchly the opposite of a Vick or a T.O. and just seems to "get it" when it comes to leadership and professionalism in a team sport. So when that guy has had so much success in the regular season but get this rep as a someone who cant deliver when it matters, I find myself pulling for him to get it done one time to silence the haters. Well he got it done in a grand fashion last night and a colossal collapse couldnt have happened to a more deserving team than the Pats. Manning may have gotten the 500lb gorilla off of his back but the damn things is still in the room. He's got to win the big bowl to shut everybody up for good. And maybe people will shutup about Rex Grossman too. People fail to realize that that guy has about a season and a half of starts in his career. That is not alot for what is considered an experienced quarterback.
Im gonna end up pulling for Dungy and crew in the championship game but for me it will be a win win situation. Ill enjoy watching either coach win and I don't really have any issues with either team. I will be a historic super bowl and Im eager to observe all the hype and storylines and subplots they come up with over the next two weeks.
Just before kick-off of the second game my buddy called and said that he was glad that he didnt take the bet we talked about the day before because he thought that the Saints would pull off the upset. I told him that the Bears would make it ugly, so in an attempt to augment his loss of credibility and subsequent manhoodliness, he went through with a bet of $50 on the second game. The mission was not accomplished and I demanded my payment in small bills.
I other sports news, my Tarheels rolled, the Aggies look like a genuine contender, and no one in the SEC seems to want to give UF a game. And I'd like to give Tubby Smith a heartfelt congratulations for losing to vandy at home for the second straight year. In a weekend where we were celebrating the accomplishments of black coaches and the addition of another in steel-town, you manage to add more fuel to the 24hr burning stake they've got going just outside of Lexington reserved just for you. I would invite Ashley Judd to more games to take some of the attention off of you.

Quality programming alert of the week: The White Rapper Show
Vh1 has got this show that is part The Apprentice and part American Idol searching for the next great white rapper. I've yet to see a full episode and Im not even sure when they air it originally but its great entertainment. Im pretty sure the dude hosting the show is MC Search from the now defunked group 3rd Base but rest assured they keeps it all the way real. I guess the weasel hasnt gone pop yet.