I Was Thinking
Videos on Vh1 played in the background while I dressed for work this morning. I had just finished putting a professional iron to my crisp and clean baby blue Nautica button down shirt and I was applying an ample fresh coat of my brand new vaseline intensive care cocoa butter lotion to my desperately dry skin as not to risk the possibility of spontaneous combustion at some point throughout the day when my hypo-hydrated, astonishingly ashy epidermis might overheat from the friction of routine activity, when a befuddling p-diddy video feat. Christina Aguilera started to play on the tele. Dude was dancing and rapping very badly when he triggered some befuddling thoughts about inter-gender relations.
Puffy has been extra prominent in the media in the past few weeks with his new album and all, but he also has done a series of interviews that gave us some insight to his personal life that was very eye opening. He was on the cover of last months Essence magazine I believe, with this long time girlfriend and baby’s momma Kim Porter. I heard a lot of what I know from that interview but I also saw him on the Tyra Banks show of which I am a big fan. The facts from those interview that I found so revealing were as follows. Diddy basically left Kim for J-Lo. Puffy admitted that he didn’t get enough ego stroking from Kim and that he loved J-Lo. He said that one of the reasons that he and Lopez didn’t work out was because he couldn’t let go of Kim because he felt that she was his soul mate. I’m still not sure how you give up all that Latina loveliness. Now after acknowledging that he knew he has to be with Kim he also let it be known in no uncertain terms that Puff in essence really loves the ladies. He is not sure if can or will get married but one thing that he is sure of is that the ladies love him too. And through it all, Kim was willing to take him back and possibly live happily ever after. All of this information is not noteworthy because I’m some kinda celebrity gossip feeder, but its interesting to me because I think it says a lot about the true nature of humans and interpersonal relationships. Let me explain further from an assuming, unapologetic and perfectly subjective male perspective.
When I was fairly young, I vividly remember a sitter calling me a male chauvinist pig. I can’t remember why but at the time I had no clue as to what it meant and I still have a hard time understanding what in the world a 10 year old boy could say to make her feel that way. As I grew older I slowly started to pick up all of its implications and I still keep that accusation in the back of my head. I admittedly subscribe to specific gender roles but I would hardly call myself a pig. But what man would? I have always thumbed my nose at the notion of certain modern femi-nazi errrrr feminist ideals, mostly dismissing them as the lunacy of bitter bull-dikes. Not that I have anything against lesbos but if you ain’t sharin’ then I ain’t carin’. Munch all the carpet you like but I’ll watch with only the most disapproving of stares. I digress. But as a minority, I absolutely recognize the importance of inclusion of under represented populations into the mainstream. Its only necessary and only right. But I cant help but to think that situations like the current Diddy and Kim relationship support my ideas and detract from the neo-woman’s idea of the no bullshit taking, slap an unfaithful man in the back of his head, self-sufficient, independent, I’m better by myself than with your indecisive ass, type muff diver errr type of gal. From my perspective Mr. Combs had violated several of the established no-no’s of the dating ritual but seemed to get a widespread pass by the media and fans. This was not necessarily a surprise to me but it seemed to fly in the face of holy fidelity and anti misogynistic trends these days. The observation led me down a path to this conclusion. Power makes people very forgiving. Diddy is seen as the premier hip-hop mogul. Russell is doing his thing but isn’t quite as high-profile and prolific and Sean Carter is still relatively new to the mogul thing compared to Sean Combs. Diddy like no other makes careers and like he said, ‘expects a standing a ovation every time he walks into a room.’ For sure he gets special treatment because he is a celebrity but I believe that there is something to this power thing. I think that if a woman perceives you to be good or superior or at the top of your game at whatever it is you commit your resources towards, assuming that she respects the game, then it seems to me that you gain a certain level of respect that is permissive of certain behaviors that other less successful males can get away with. Observe the following exempli gratia.
See the real issue, whether wimen folk want to acknowledge it or not, is that they want a man that is going to provide. They want to maintain their independence and all that but they desperately want to have a male for support, guidance and leadership. It’s in a womans nature to look for this but it is also in her nature to test your manhood because she needs to have faith in your competence and capabilities. And when you are judged to have fallen short of expectations then your credibility leaves along with her respect for you. But when you have shown that you are up to the task then you typically have a person solidly in your corner for a good while.
Lets look at Miranda. Yes that Miranda the red head from Sex in the City. We all observed how she and Steve suffered through their relationship. Sure it was a fictional story but a perfect example of how thing can go awry if one partner is dissatisfied with the other. Miranda was never satisfied with Steve and how she perceived his success or ambition or drive or accomplishment. She was constantly questioning and second guessing his decision making and the bottom line is that she didn’t respect him. She never really trusted him enough to put part of her life into his hands. She knew cognitively that he was a nice, caring, well-intentioned man, but instinctively there was something missing. He was never her everything. Charlotte’s marriage to the dude with the meddling mother was a similar situation. She needed him to make some tough decisions for the sake of their bond and he never could quite step up to the plate.
Would Corretta Scott have stayed with Martin Jr. if he weren’t the King? Would Jackie have stayed with John Fitzgerald if he weren’t president? Would Hilary have stayed with Willy if he didn’t run the free world? Am I overthinking this or am I on to something? Women get wet eerrrr weak weak weak people. I was trying to say that women get WEAK for many different types of personally specific reasons but power is universal to them all.
In other thoughts from the weekend
The BCS did what it was developed to do. It is not a perfect system and a playoff is essential and inevitable. But the idea, as it was designed, was to pit the two best teams together for a definitive national championship game. Before the BCS idea came in to play, you would have two really good teams who would finish the season with rightful claims to the title. But the issue was that they would never have a chance to duke it out because conference participants were locked into bowl games and poll voters would be given the task of electing a champ based on really subjective ideas. Then they changed to rules so that one bowl would be able to chose who played in the game which would be the #1 and #2 ranked teams in the land. They have tweaked the formula a few times to determine who would be that 1 and 2 but this year it actually turned out to be an easy decision. Michigan finished the season with one loss. But they were easily handled by the consensus #1 buckeyes. So that eliminates one team from the race because we already know for sure that the wolverines are not better than the buckeyes. So why give them a rematch? We suspect that Ohio St. can beat Florida but we don’t know for sure. So the voters got it right when they leaped the gators over the wolves into the #2 spot. Its and attempt to eliminate all doubt. That is why the BCS was created in the first place, to end a lot of the guessing. Not perfect but it works for me.
And for the sake of argument, since most are ready to anoint Ohio St. as champs, I think the gators will make this one hell of a game. We may even see some defense played. I don’t know why people always judge the quality of a team by its offensive prowess but I am here to warn you that we have a long line of examples of underdog teams with good defenses that upset these offensive juggernauts in big games. Ask the 2005 super bowl champion Steelers about beating the Colts. Ask the 2000 Oklahoma Sooners about beating the Seminoles and ask the 2002 Ohio St. Buckeyes about beating the Miami Hurricanes. And ask the 1996 Fla. Gators about playing the Seminoles the first time that year.
In NFL updates, the Steelers won this week but they still suck. Who cares about everyone else.
I would talk about college basketball but its too early in the season but things are looking up for my Tarheels. After seeing Florida and Kansas play over a week ago, I was ready to crown either one of their asses. They both looked really damn good and Carolina had come off a disappointing loss to the Zags. But low and behold the Gator and the Jayhawks are who we thought they were and they both ate fat ones against lesser competition this past week. So basically what I am trying to say is that Carolina is not the only team with issues. I don’t believe in Pitt but I need to see UCLA and Ohio St. play some more. Duke is looking pretty lame although they tend to get better throughout the season and I think TAMU will bite it before long too.
Puffy has been extra prominent in the media in the past few weeks with his new album and all, but he also has done a series of interviews that gave us some insight to his personal life that was very eye opening. He was on the cover of last months Essence magazine I believe, with this long time girlfriend and baby’s momma Kim Porter. I heard a lot of what I know from that interview but I also saw him on the Tyra Banks show of which I am a big fan. The facts from those interview that I found so revealing were as follows. Diddy basically left Kim for J-Lo. Puffy admitted that he didn’t get enough ego stroking from Kim and that he loved J-Lo. He said that one of the reasons that he and Lopez didn’t work out was because he couldn’t let go of Kim because he felt that she was his soul mate. I’m still not sure how you give up all that Latina loveliness. Now after acknowledging that he knew he has to be with Kim he also let it be known in no uncertain terms that Puff in essence really loves the ladies. He is not sure if can or will get married but one thing that he is sure of is that the ladies love him too. And through it all, Kim was willing to take him back and possibly live happily ever after. All of this information is not noteworthy because I’m some kinda celebrity gossip feeder, but its interesting to me because I think it says a lot about the true nature of humans and interpersonal relationships. Let me explain further from an assuming, unapologetic and perfectly subjective male perspective.
When I was fairly young, I vividly remember a sitter calling me a male chauvinist pig. I can’t remember why but at the time I had no clue as to what it meant and I still have a hard time understanding what in the world a 10 year old boy could say to make her feel that way. As I grew older I slowly started to pick up all of its implications and I still keep that accusation in the back of my head. I admittedly subscribe to specific gender roles but I would hardly call myself a pig. But what man would? I have always thumbed my nose at the notion of certain modern femi-nazi errrrr feminist ideals, mostly dismissing them as the lunacy of bitter bull-dikes. Not that I have anything against lesbos but if you ain’t sharin’ then I ain’t carin’. Munch all the carpet you like but I’ll watch with only the most disapproving of stares. I digress. But as a minority, I absolutely recognize the importance of inclusion of under represented populations into the mainstream. Its only necessary and only right. But I cant help but to think that situations like the current Diddy and Kim relationship support my ideas and detract from the neo-woman’s idea of the no bullshit taking, slap an unfaithful man in the back of his head, self-sufficient, independent, I’m better by myself than with your indecisive ass, type muff diver errr type of gal. From my perspective Mr. Combs had violated several of the established no-no’s of the dating ritual but seemed to get a widespread pass by the media and fans. This was not necessarily a surprise to me but it seemed to fly in the face of holy fidelity and anti misogynistic trends these days. The observation led me down a path to this conclusion. Power makes people very forgiving. Diddy is seen as the premier hip-hop mogul. Russell is doing his thing but isn’t quite as high-profile and prolific and Sean Carter is still relatively new to the mogul thing compared to Sean Combs. Diddy like no other makes careers and like he said, ‘expects a standing a ovation every time he walks into a room.’ For sure he gets special treatment because he is a celebrity but I believe that there is something to this power thing. I think that if a woman perceives you to be good or superior or at the top of your game at whatever it is you commit your resources towards, assuming that she respects the game, then it seems to me that you gain a certain level of respect that is permissive of certain behaviors that other less successful males can get away with. Observe the following exempli gratia.
See the real issue, whether wimen folk want to acknowledge it or not, is that they want a man that is going to provide. They want to maintain their independence and all that but they desperately want to have a male for support, guidance and leadership. It’s in a womans nature to look for this but it is also in her nature to test your manhood because she needs to have faith in your competence and capabilities. And when you are judged to have fallen short of expectations then your credibility leaves along with her respect for you. But when you have shown that you are up to the task then you typically have a person solidly in your corner for a good while.
Lets look at Miranda. Yes that Miranda the red head from Sex in the City. We all observed how she and Steve suffered through their relationship. Sure it was a fictional story but a perfect example of how thing can go awry if one partner is dissatisfied with the other. Miranda was never satisfied with Steve and how she perceived his success or ambition or drive or accomplishment. She was constantly questioning and second guessing his decision making and the bottom line is that she didn’t respect him. She never really trusted him enough to put part of her life into his hands. She knew cognitively that he was a nice, caring, well-intentioned man, but instinctively there was something missing. He was never her everything. Charlotte’s marriage to the dude with the meddling mother was a similar situation. She needed him to make some tough decisions for the sake of their bond and he never could quite step up to the plate.
Would Corretta Scott have stayed with Martin Jr. if he weren’t the King? Would Jackie have stayed with John Fitzgerald if he weren’t president? Would Hilary have stayed with Willy if he didn’t run the free world? Am I overthinking this or am I on to something? Women get wet eerrrr weak weak weak people. I was trying to say that women get WEAK for many different types of personally specific reasons but power is universal to them all.
In other thoughts from the weekend
The BCS did what it was developed to do. It is not a perfect system and a playoff is essential and inevitable. But the idea, as it was designed, was to pit the two best teams together for a definitive national championship game. Before the BCS idea came in to play, you would have two really good teams who would finish the season with rightful claims to the title. But the issue was that they would never have a chance to duke it out because conference participants were locked into bowl games and poll voters would be given the task of electing a champ based on really subjective ideas. Then they changed to rules so that one bowl would be able to chose who played in the game which would be the #1 and #2 ranked teams in the land. They have tweaked the formula a few times to determine who would be that 1 and 2 but this year it actually turned out to be an easy decision. Michigan finished the season with one loss. But they were easily handled by the consensus #1 buckeyes. So that eliminates one team from the race because we already know for sure that the wolverines are not better than the buckeyes. So why give them a rematch? We suspect that Ohio St. can beat Florida but we don’t know for sure. So the voters got it right when they leaped the gators over the wolves into the #2 spot. Its and attempt to eliminate all doubt. That is why the BCS was created in the first place, to end a lot of the guessing. Not perfect but it works for me.
And for the sake of argument, since most are ready to anoint Ohio St. as champs, I think the gators will make this one hell of a game. We may even see some defense played. I don’t know why people always judge the quality of a team by its offensive prowess but I am here to warn you that we have a long line of examples of underdog teams with good defenses that upset these offensive juggernauts in big games. Ask the 2005 super bowl champion Steelers about beating the Colts. Ask the 2000 Oklahoma Sooners about beating the Seminoles and ask the 2002 Ohio St. Buckeyes about beating the Miami Hurricanes. And ask the 1996 Fla. Gators about playing the Seminoles the first time that year.
In NFL updates, the Steelers won this week but they still suck. Who cares about everyone else.
I would talk about college basketball but its too early in the season but things are looking up for my Tarheels. After seeing Florida and Kansas play over a week ago, I was ready to crown either one of their asses. They both looked really damn good and Carolina had come off a disappointing loss to the Zags. But low and behold the Gator and the Jayhawks are who we thought they were and they both ate fat ones against lesser competition this past week. So basically what I am trying to say is that Carolina is not the only team with issues. I don’t believe in Pitt but I need to see UCLA and Ohio St. play some more. Duke is looking pretty lame although they tend to get better throughout the season and I think TAMU will bite it before long too.
posted by woodrow241 at 2:23 PM
3 Comments:
I have so much to say about that Diddy article in Essence- but I'll try to keep it brief. I was excited to read the article, but at the end I felt like throwing up. I couldn't decide if I was pissed (at Diddy and Kim) or sad (for Kim) about it. I think a little of both.
Kim seems proud that Diddy "loves her so much that she knew he would come back to her"- but it's also really sad because he keeps leaving, then returning, then leaving- and I think he'll do it again. She's his safety blanket. The woman already has (one?) of his kids and is carrying twins-- why in the world won't he commit? Why in the world did she take him back (and consent to produce those twins)??
I couldn't tell if the article was supposed to be a "sweet love story" or what- I still don't know. But I do know that it is not cute to be Kim Porter- I think it's really sad- I feel bad for her. Why is she content just taking crumbs from him? I hate to see women take crumbs- especially those that don't have to. And she presented such a strong front- but I think it only made her look ridiculous. If she's so strong why take that from him? I don't think she has any real worth to him- and I think you may be on to something in terms of her attraction to his power- it has to be that because, like you said, he has broken all of the rules. He's too cocky for his own good- and I can see how he didn't feel like Kim stroked his ego enough- and it seems like she still doesn't (according to what was written in the article). I think she has up some sort of protective wall emotionally- I'm gonna stop before I "psychologize" her.
I agree with you that all women have that "criteria" or whatever that makes them "weak" (or whatever) that must be present for attraction. Some sort of power (intellectual, physical, monetary, etc)- Yeah, it's there.
You a male chauvinist...interesting...
Totally agree the Tyra Banks show is quality television!
I'm not a fan of JLo or Sean Combs, their egos are too big for my taste.
Women do not seek power any more than men seek women who nurture them. My point is, power and nurturing can be defined in many ways, it all depends on how what you value and how the world around you has changed. Hilary was with Willy while he ran the great state of Arkansas and is still with him even though he no longer runs the free world. They are together because they love eachother.
I belive in love. Based on my experience, love is important in a committed relationship but marriage is ultimately a choice - I choose to live my life with this person and over time, that means many different things (hence in good times and bad, sickness and health) and I commit to doing the best I can in life to make myself and my partner happy. It doesn't look like Kim or Sean understand this choice. Maybe their millions of dollars get in the way.
She keeps taking him back because, ummmm, he's Diddy! Who the fuck can you date after dating Diddy? Even dating another hip-hop superstar would be a step down from Diddy. As much as any of us would like to call her a gold digger/power hungry...WHATEVER, how in the hell would you ever be content with life after living in the vast luxury that Sean C. provides? We all like to say tha love conquers all. But ain't no amount of love ever gonna replace multiple leer jets.
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